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E-mail StoryHerb Benham: New law means silly Bluetooth thingies for all
| Monday, Jun 30 2008 3:08 PM
Last Updated: Tuesday, Jul 1 2008 8:28 AM
California just got uglier.
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I didn’t think that could happen after the skies filled with ash, but it is possible.
Especially since Tuesday is the day when Californians have to transition to hands-free technology in order to be able to use cell phones in their cars.
Everybody is going to walk around with those stupid Bluetooths in their ears. Forgive me for sounding so harsh, but let’s get a few things straight before we proceed to embarrass ourselves from now into perpetuity.
A headset is not a fashion accessory. It’s like putting a crab in your ear. Sir, did you know you have a crab in your ear?
My dad wears a hearing aid. Lots of people do. However, ever since they moved past ear horns, hearing aids have grown smaller and for good reason.
No one, especially my dad, is in a big hurry to advertise the fact that they can’t hear. You accept it, you deal with it, but you didn’t see Beethoven jumping up and down on the podium, did you?
Hearing aids have become so small and discreet that sometimes you can almost fake out the hearing aid detectives who are as keen on spotting hearing aids as some people are in busting hairpieces.
What is it about the Bluetooth look that is not pleasing? Perhaps, it’s because it reminds us of some of the characters in “Star Trek.” Spock in particular.
Spock was thoughtful, but he was not someone you wanted working retail. Captain Kirk was your front door man.
This is also not the Starship Enterprise, where space is the final frontier. We are not boldly going where no man has gone before. We are walking down 19th Street. With headsets on. Looking as if we didn’t do the 10-point check before we left the house.
I happen to think hands-free technology in cars is a good idea. I’ve become a much worse driver since I started using a cell phone. Everybody has. We’re driving like teenagers, and the teenagers are driving like Argentinians.
However, when you are in your car and you’re wearing one of those headsets, people give you a bye in the same way they do if you are driving naked. They think, “He’s obviously naked, but at least he’s in his own car.”
When you are talking on your wireless in the car, people assume you are crazy because you are talking to yourself but the hope is that you live in another part of town and that you won’t be visiting soon.
Plus, watching a person talking to themselves in their cars can be entertaining. They wave, move their heads and sometimes get mad. What a lunatic. Somebody call the people with the white coats.
A few days ago Costco ran out of headsets. Maybe by the time they restock, the headsets will be smaller. For that matter, maybe you’ll actually be able to hear something other than space noise.
I’m not sure I can blame the space noise on Bluetooth. Perhaps I should skip Costco and head for the hearing aid store.
Opinions expressed here are those of Herb Benham, not The Californian.